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Are you frustrated because you are unable to define or fix the nagging problems in your marriage or long-term partnership? Do you find yourself having the same circular discussions and arguments over and over? Do you feel misunderstood and unfairly criticized by the person you love the most? Do you often feel unheard, and invisible, and abandoned within your relationship?
This book can help.
“This is the best book I’ve ever read about why relationships break down. It is so profound that I bought several copies to give to friends. I think it’s revolutionary and I am shocked that the author, Matthew Fray, has not yet become a household name. It’s possible he’s just a little ahead of his time.” – Alicia Erian, best-selling author of TOWELHEAD and THE BRUTAL LANGUAGE OF LOVE
“Fray offers a frank and refreshingly modern view, one that never makes dated, flippant assumptions…It's instead the story of hard-earned lessons, and how to be a truly present, active partner in a healthy relationship. It also truly delivers on its title promise of hopefulness. I have never read a book about marriage that makes a better case for it than this one, an achievement all the more impressive for being written by "the guy who found out too late." — Salon
Most relationships end with a whimper, not a bang.
Just as health professionals from yesteryear were compelled to sound the alarm regarding the dangers of smoking tobacco to a then-unaware public, This is How Your Marriage Ends is here to help raise awareness regarding the seemingly benign behaviors we do with little to no thought that kill love and trust in relationships.
A resource for couples who are dating before marriage, who are currently married, or for people who divorced and want to know why, This is How Your Marriage Ends will help people identify relationship-killing behavior patterns and communication habits in their own lives, and point them toward resources that can help them break free from the cycles of dysfunction that commonly crop up and ruin relationships.
"How can a good man end up being a lousy spouse? And why do all of us, across genders, do things that can subtly undermine our most treasured relationships? Matthew Fray’s book—at turns sobering and inspiring, heartbreaking and hilarious—gets to the root of questions that can make or break a life partnership. Read it, heed it, act on it—for yourself and for the one you love." — Warren Berger, best-selling author of A MORE BEAUTIFUL QUESTION
"THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS takes aim at some of the conventional wisdom of coupledom as it seeks to expose the hidden threats present in many relationships."
— Wall Street Journal
This book encompasses many of the ideas and the writing voice found on my blog. And I tried to combine that with the ideas that I’ve developed in my relationship coaching work over the past few years to create something fresh and original.
The result is a book that I believe has a legitimate chance to help people think about and show up in their relationships more effectively for their partners, families, and themselves. This might sound like an asshole thing to write, but I would want to buy and read this book. And that was an important litmus test for me throughout this process.
It has heart, humor, and practical lessons to help people more effectively navigate relationship conflict. The book description calls it a “thoughtful, down-to-earth, contemporary guide to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives.”
Good people can be bad at relationships.
That was the story of my failed marriage. Maybe it’s the same story for some of you. But it doesn’t have to be.